Night Terrors

The girls are very good at going to sleep themselves for naps and initially at night. Most nights they wake up after 40 or 50 minutes and I know the rest of the night is going to be very difficult. I spend all night re-swaddling, plugging pacifiers in and feeding. I have to be super thankful they are here, but I also have to admit how frustrating this is. I am a walking zombie. I feel like I have a 5.5 month hangover without the drinking. Some times only one will wake up initially and the other can sleep through her crying. Some times, like tonight, they are both very unhappy. There are nights when I just can't take another minute without breaking down into tears. On those nights I just have to walk away and calm myself. If that means that they get to scream, then they have to scream for a while. Tonight is one of those nights and it's just begun. It's going to be another long wakeful night.

Pink Pizazz

Saturday mornings are my time. On weekdays, the girls and I get up and go to the gym. On Saturday, I get up and go without them. I meet a bunch of friends and swim for 60-90 minutes. I used to pick out clothes for the girls on Friday so Cork knew what to dress them in. Now Cork picks out their clothes. I think almost all men believe that if it's pink it matches all other pinks. Arya's outfit was good today. Eiley's made me laugh though. I took her overalls down so you can see that the shirt she's wearing is part of a whole other outfit. I'm not complaining I'm just laughing. How could I complain when I get free time to do what I want and socialize with a great group of people.

Simon Says Stand Up

The girls don't roll from back to front. They don't sit unsupported. But they sure can stand. I often put one in an exersaucer, jumper or cat seat and stand the other next to her. I won't walk away, but they've gotten really good at holding on for a short time.

I have to admit that right after I took this, one of the cats walked by. Eiley turned to watch the cat and fell right over. I didn't catch her and she conked her little head on the ground. She didn't cry, but she did give me stink eye. I wish I'd snapped a picture of that.

A Tale of Two Ovaries....with no Great Expectations

Some people decide they are ready for a baby, get pregnant and have a baby. Others, like us, decide they are ready but don’t get pregnant. We wait and wait and wait and finally decide it’s time to see a doctor. With time, many of us become stirrup queens and sperm palace jesters. (You may have been in our situation if you know where that phrase comes from.) Some of us go through clomid, IUI, follistim, HSG, progesterone, D&C, laparoscopic surgery, acupuncture and Chinese herbs to try to get pregnant. We have to listen to lots of very unhelpful hints from people who have never been in our situation and don’t understand that stress does not cause most infertility. Those of us who only go through that much consider ourselves lucky. Anyone who has not been down the infertility path cannot begin to understand. We live our lives in increments, before and after ovulation. We obtain a whole new vocabulary. We become amazing jugglers as we spend more time at a doctor’s office than at our work desk. Our arms become pin cushions as we are constantly poked and prodded. We find ourselves drinking gallons of green tea and cough syrup, and know when it’s okay to drink them based on our temperature charts. We all temp and it becomes an obsession for each and every one of us. We chart those temps and spend hours looking at the results. It’s amazing how well we get to know our bodies and how little faith some doctors have in that knowledge.

One day, when we were on a break from all the drugs and procedures (except acupuncture), I looked at one of those crazy temping charts and it looked odd. Not bad odd, but amazingly odd. It was doing something it had only done once before, but this time it kept doing it. My charts told me everything I needed to know month after month. This time it was telling me something totally different. I finally broke down the day after Christmas and decided I needed to know if my chart was right. I took a test and it was positive within a second or two. I stared at it in disbelief. I called my doctor’s office as soon as it opened and couldn’t get there fast enough. You get special treatment when you’re a fertility patient and get to have your hormone levels tested and you get early ultrasounds. The hormone levels can tell you a lot about a pregnancy. I had blood drawn and my hcg tested. My beta came back high. I had my hcg tested two other times within the next week. Most healthy pregnancies have hcg levels doubling every 48-72 hours. Mine were doubling every 32 hours. The faster they double the more likely multiples are, but my levels were still well within the normal range for a single pregnancy.

One year ago today we saw two little hearts beating away on our ultrasound. We had seen one baby on our ultrasound two weeks prior. We were beyond excited to finally be blessed with one child and couldn’t believe our fortune when our second miracle revealed herself. Many couples are in shock when they find out they are having twins and the excitement takes a while to sink in. We couldn’t stop grinning from the second the doctor asked “Did we know it was twins?”

Looking back, I wouldn’t change anything about our journey. Through that journey I learned to be my own advocate in health matters and in life in general. I learned so many interesting things about the human body. I learned that infertility should not be taboo to talk about. I was open and willing to talk to anyone about it. In turn, I have met so many wonderful people and been able to help so many others as they begin their (hopefully short) journeys down the infertility path.

Today I post our babies’ first portrait together. I don’t know who is who, but I do know they are ours and we are theirs.

A Quick Stroll

How cute is this?

The Situation

My girls' abs are so ripped up that we call them The Situation ;)

Mix Up

I picked the girls up from the gym day care after working out today and I saw that their hats had been switched. I put them in their car seats, talking to them the whole time, drove home, looking at them in their mirrors periodically, got them out of the car and then realized it wasn't their hats that had been switched. I mixed them up. I haven't done that in a long time. Can you tell who is who? They aren't even wearing the same outfit, but I never pay attention to who is wearing what.

Two Sleeping Cuties

Ingogh was sleeping in the playmat again. Eiley fell asleep while Cork rocked her and he put her next to the cat. Ingogh looked up at her and went right back to sleep so I had to grab my camera. And yes, I use the playmat as a storage for all sorts of toys, hats and baby gear.

Ergo-ing We go

My parents have given us two Ergos. I've used them for the front carry, but never a back carry. I looked at youtube how to put a kiddo into the back carry and tried it. I love it and it's so easy to get them on. Both kids loved being worn as well. Sikozu thinks I should carry him in it, but I'm not sure he'd like it once he got strapped in.

My Giant

I love this picture for a few reasons. Arya looks huge, she's sitting so well, and she's wearing one of my favorite outfits.

A special delivery

Arya gave this to me this morning. She must really love me. She waited until I had her dressed for the day. No amount of wipes was going to clean the mess on her back and eventually her head and arms after I pulled this over them. Good thing she loves baths almost as much as she loves me. While I was busy cleaning Arya up, Eiley decided she needed to leave me a surprise too.

Bonus

It's not in focus, so it's not my main picture for today. Neither kid has found her own toes yet, but they have found each others. E was so mad when I pulled her away. Hopefully they grow out of this :)

Lazy Days

Eiley started doing this yesterday. My grandma used to pat her head like this. A and E were born on her birthday. Looks like they may have more than a birth date in common.

The way we roll

There are 4 little feet in this house. There is one little sock on those feet. That's usually how it is. I put socks back on over and over every day. Some days I just give up...Most days I snap a quick picture and post it. I don't edit any of the pics because I don't know how. You get what I snap. Today I actually laid them down to try to get a picture. They wouldn't stop moving their little legs, so this is the best I could get. I'd rather the bottom feet be in focus, but it's good enough considering they both needed a nap and I didn't spend much time on it.

Bald Spots

Both kids have bald spots. They have a thin layer of hair coming in everywhere under the dark hair, but not in the bald spots.

So cute

Cork was busy getting some things done yesterday so he plopped Arya on the couch next to me while I was feeding Eiley. She's so cute just sitting there.

Not its intended use

For some reason, I don't think the makers of this jumper intended a child to bend over backwards in it. This is how Eiley likes to play in it so she can look all around. She can right herself once she's tipped back. I wonder if she'll continue doing this once she figures out how to spin the seat to see what she wants.

It's a rough life

I came home today to this. There is no reason to move them as they'll just get right back in. I could easily train them they aren't allowed in it, but I think it's cute. At least it's not the stroller again.

A Zuzu Kitty

Mr. Sikozu (see-koe-zoo) is even fiercer than Mr. Ingogh. Look at him as he stalks his prey and comes in for the kill. He is going to be the girls' little buddy. He's very interested in them. He's always smelling them, hanging out on my lap while I BF and he's the cat who licked Arya's head when it was full of olive oil. Such a nut! He loves to be held over my shoulder like a baby and tries to be held even if I'm already holding one or two babies. I know some people push their pets aside when they have a baby, but I still love my cats just as much and they still get a ton of attention.

5 Months

I need to remember to take pictures of the girls in the morning. Late afternoons are not good times around here. I can't believe A & E are 5 months already. We are having lots of fun now. It's so nice to be out of survival mode. There are lots of laughs and happy open mouthed drools dripped on me during the day. They are behind most 5 month olds, but not by much and it's normal for multiples. We're chugging away at our own pace and I love seeing them do new things whenever they decide to do them. I love these girls so much! Despite how incredibly hard it was in the beginning, I can't imagine my life without my kids. All the sleepless nights with sleep deprived hallucinations are worth it.

Rice Rice Baby

I was going to wait until the girls were 6 months to start solids. I swore I'd wait, but they really seem hungry some days. I decided today that I'd feed them a little bit of cereal to see how it went and would continue to give them a little something on days that they seem hungrier than usual. I won't do this when they are going through a growth spurt. Both girls loved the cereal. Eiley ate it so well. She was super neat and screamed when I was feeding Arya and not her. Arya wasn't as coordinated at eating, but that was only because she sticks her tongue out when she gets super excited. She was loving the cereal and kept sticking her tongue out. It's hard to swallow with your tongue out of your mouth. They only ate a tablespoon between them, but would have kept going if I had been willing to feed them more.

Day 8 - The Ingogh ate my baby

This is Ingogh. Said like Ing-go. Spelled like Van Gogh. Yes, even our cats have weird names. Mr. Ingogh is very regal. He owns the house and is nice enough to let us live here with him and pay his mortgage. He is the cat that howls back at Arya when she screams like a cat.

OMG!

Did your jaw just drop?









No, I'm not pregnant, so that may have been just a little evil. I found that in a drawer while cleaning this week. OMG is right. As in OMG who saves a stick they've peed on and shoves it in a drawer. I had no idea it was even there. I didn't mean to save it. If you peed on the end of a hair brush, would you cover that end and shove the brush in a drawer? No!!!!! So why the hell did I save this thing? That's just gross.

Family Photos

Have you ever tried to take a family photo with multiple cameras flashing, two infants and one drunk husband? 16 photos later just on your own camera you may say enough is enough and not care if there is one good one in the bunch. This is the best one we got. The rest are funny as we're lucky if even one of us is looking at the right camera and smiling.

My little monkeys

Someone talked about monkeys yesterday. I too love monkeys. I practically majored in them (Anthropology) for my undergrad. My mom made the girls sock monkeys because I have a little obsession with them. I don't collect them because I don't need clutter around the house, but they are so cute and were first made in my home town. The girls have bright colored sock monkey art hanging on their walls. They love the monkeys my mom made. I think they think the head is a boob. They get all excited when the see the round head with the red mouth coming at them. LOL.

A little time on the boob

Arya and Eiley are cranky today. A little time on the boob seems to be solving it.

Childhood Memories

My mom used to make an ethnic meal every Christmas Eve. Pork roast stuffed with kielbasa, sauerkraut and dumplings was one of those meals. I'd never made it before, but decided it was about time I give it a try. It's not a pretty presentation, but it tasted just like my mom's. I added some pickled beets to the meal just because.

Mini Me

The kiddos tag team napped today, so I got some one on one time with each of them. Even though we think they are identical, I think Eiley looks more I do right now. I look back at pictures of myself around their age and they both look a lot like me. They have much darker eye brows, so they may get Cork's dark hair.

Day 1 - Ary

We're off to a late start in the Roe household. I missed 3 days already, which means I'll just have to go into 2011 if I really want this to be 365 days in a Roe. Arya and Eiley are getting too big for the sposies and we are having leakage issues. Arya was put in the bumbo today as I ran upstairs to get her a change of clothes. I came back down and had to laugh at her. She looks like a boy the way she's sitting all leaned back with her arm on the side. We may need to start calling her Ary.