Sunday, January 31, 2010
The girls are very good at going to sleep themselves for naps and initially at night. Most nights they wake up after 40 or 50 minutes and I know the rest of the night is going to be very difficult. I spend all night re-swaddling, plugging pacifiers in and feeding. I have to be super thankful they are here, but I also have to admit how frustrating this is. I am a walking zombie. I feel like I have a 5.5 month hangover without the drinking. Some times only one will wake up initially and the other can sleep through her crying. Some times, like tonight, they are both very unhappy. There are nights when I just can't take another minute without breaking down into tears. On those nights I just have to walk away and calm myself. If that means that they get to scream, then they have to scream for a while. Tonight is one of those nights and it's just begun. It's going to be another long wakeful night.