Welcome to the Roe household blog. We're attempting to post 365 days of pictures in a Roe. Cork and I have been married since 2002 and welcomed identical daughters in August of 2009 after a struggle with infertility. Our girls were definitely worth the wait and I say they were destined to be here because they were conceived on my birthday, due on my sister's birthday and born on my grandma's birthday. What are the chances of that! We welcomed our third daughter in June of 2012. We all fell in love with her right away. She has two amazing older sisters who love to watch over her.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

I Laugh At Your One Baby

The older two are supposed to be sleeping right now, but their 5 to 10 minute nap in the car this afternoon has pushed bed time way back. I just went upstairs to check on them and they were so into what they were doing, neither noticed that I'd opened their bedroom door. Both were sitting right by the door and I could only open it wide enough to get my head through. They had their jewelry box on the floor next to them. Arya was taking pretend suckers out, eating them and sharing them with Eiley. She first took a Boots one for herself, then gave Eiley a Dora one, next came a Super Baby sucker. The Super Baby one prompted a discussion if they could eat the Super Baby suckers or not.

I look at the bond these two have and worry about Zia. I absolutely love having 3 girls, but before we found out Zia was a girl, I wondered if things would be easier if she was a boy. I was worried that another girl would be left out of their bond. Only time will tell if she's included into their inner circle. Watching them with her, I know that they love her and do not have any jealousy issues directed at her about having a new baby in the house. That alone makes me feel a lot better. I talked to some other twin moms about my worries this past week. One of them has two year old twin boys and just recently had another boy. She said she feels the exact same way and calls it mommy guilt. She said she also has mommy guilt for not having the same bond in the beginning with the twins that she has with her singleton. Hearing that made me feel so much better. I realize that I have mommy guilt about both things. The twins are happy, healthy, well adjusted 2 year olds despite it taking longer to bond with them. The longer bonding period is very normal with multiples. Everything is harder and takes longer when there is more than one infant in the house. I'm sure Zia will also be a happy, healthy, well adjusted child even thought she will never experience that twin bond. As another mom said, it's a trade off. While Zia won't have that twin bond, she might have a closer parental bond, especially in the beginning.

Before Zia was born, one of my sisters told me it would be so much easier and she would be like an accessory, meaning I would be able to pack her up and go do the same things I was already doing with the twins. I heard other people talk about how difficult it is with one infant. They don't know how to make meals, clean the house or do anything but take care of baby. I had a ton of help in the beginning with the twins. The same help was offered this time around, but it wasn't needed. I now fully understand and laugh at the shirts I've seen for sale that say "I laugh at your one baby". This one baby thing is a breeze. I do know that Zia is a pretty easy baby. She is not colicky. She sleeps pretty well for an infant. She is usually up every 2 hours at night, but she eats and goes back to sleep. When she is up during the night and won't go back to sleep, it's usually only for an hour or hour and a half. I'm getting way more sleep than I ever imagined you could with an infant and can't complain. I know how hard it can be and this one baby thing is easy.

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